Twenty Four Hour
Demon
By Christopher
Michael Carter
I
slept well. I feel refreshed. I get out of bed with perfect fluid movement
and am thankful, for yesterday this wasn’t the case…
We
think we know ourselves pretty well, better than those around us, but we all
have the capability of losing control.
We are all players in the universe’s mystery and we are all susceptible
to unknown forces. The night before last
I had went to sleep feeling just fine and was on a regular sleeping routine;
however, I had woken up feeling more tired than what I was going to sleep. ‘What did I dream?’ I thought, believing perhaps I had gone
through another exhausting nightmare draining any and all of my waking
energy. I couldn’t remember for the life
of me. It felt as if there was someone
was on either side of my bed holding down the sheets firmly. Imagine waking up to someone putting all
their weight on you with multiple hands holding your limbs down with an unrelenting
grip. I tried to get up but was feeling
overly heavy as if being held down by some invisible force. Gravity was against me on every level as
simply lifting my head was quite the chore.
‘What is this!? What’s wrong with
me!?’ I thought in pure fear and
terror.
I
tried to get up for a half hour to no avail realizing that I should probably go
back to sleep. I shut my eyes and tried
to drift back to sleep but my mind seemed as heavy as my physical state. I was thinking about everything all at once
however there was no focus to be found. I
would’ve tossed and turned if I was allowed but I lied there like a stone
monument. My eyelids were too heavy to
keep open yet when they were shut they couldn’t relax enough to sleep. My entire being began to ache and I mustered
up enough energy to turn over to my side and my insides felt like the crew of a
capsizing ship on the sea. I hurt all
over and tried to force myself up but that feeling of vengeful gravity wasn’t
having it. I felt as if something had
entered me and taken over; something sinister.
Was this a spirit? Was I being
possessed or is my house haunted? Had I
caught a parasite? Was I bitten by
something in my sleep? It was all
overwhelming. I felt my eyes welling up
but no tears followed so I tried to yell for someone to help me up but my
vocals wouldn’t cooperate as I couldn’t get more than a grunt or moan out. I would’ve loved to cry. It would’ve been a great release, but no
tears would come; no release.
This
was driving me crazy, being held down against my will. I moved for my phone, just out of reach; my
hand feeling like solid stone. I
couldn’t reach the phone and I was drifting off. I was blacking out but still couldn’t fall
asleep which, frighteningly, was making no sense to me. What was this damn force with its grasp on
me? I was being held captive by my own
body. If it wasn’t for the pain I would
say I was completely numb but I had plenty of feeling with no ability to
move. This invisible being, whatever it
was, was relentless in its quest to keep my motor skills and functionality at
bay. I was firmly in its iron grip. This thing’s large hands held my arms and
legs and would constantly push my head back down whenever I could get it
lifted. It was as if my head was in a
vice while the rest of me lay in wet cement and nobody was around, not that
they could’ve really helped me fight it from the outside.
Its
touch was all over me; too aggressive to be a caress. Head to toe I was being strangled by this
entity. It was suffocating, like an
unwanted hug in which they refused to
let go of. ‘What does it want with
me? What does it gain by debilitating
me?’ I would’ve asked it if only I could’ve
spoken. ‘Let me go! Let me GO!’
My brain screamed while incapacitated.
‘Please… Please…’ My foe didn’t care about my internal
cries. There was no negotiating or
pleading with this…thing as it had
its way with me, its prey. I had become
a small mouse caught beneath the paw of a hungry cat or a weak child held down
by bullies in a schoolyard. My bed was
quicksand and I was struggling and falling deeper into the depths of its hold. I had to fight it, but how; it’s me.
I
had to fight to pull my eyes open properly and when I did, every facial muscle
pulled up to make sure they’d stay open.
Every time I blinked I had used the same energy to make sure they didn’t
snap back shut. I felt like titanium
tentacles with the occasional barb tethered me down and my captor was refusing
to let me up. Despite this feeling I
mustered up enough adrenaline and might to throw my legs over the side of the
bed. After having to reload, I slung my
body up to a sitting position. It’s as
if I was drugged, sitting there in a daze.
I could feel the gravitational like force pulling me back down but I had
already made it so far. I rocked back
and forth a couple of times before shooting myself up to my feet.
The
sensation was like standing while going through flu symptoms however beyond the
weighty heft I didn’t feel sick at
all. I walked like a child new to the
motion with robotic-like and aimless steps while I had brought my still-heavy
arms up for balance; even if it was the illusion of such. After a few steps I began to stumble but
caught myself at the wall. When I walked
I felt like I was dragging dead weight around; it tried its hardest to
immobilize me and for the most part was doing quite well. I fought past it and continued through the
house trying to do daily chores in hopes to break this phase; I had hoped it was a phase anyway. Everything I did was like I was watching
through someone else’s eyes, through someone else’s body. I was on complete autopilot, doing my daily
routine without actual control over my body.
I was doing exactly what I wanted my body to do but there was no mental or
emotional connection.
Whatever
had taken hold of my body and mind had developed a certain kind of lamination
over my being that separated my feeling the actual actions and the reality of
what was going on. The autopilot feeling
lasted all day and I couldn’t honestly focus on anything for the hours in which
I was under this spell. I was thinking
about every little thing going on in my life but each thought passed me by like
strangers on the street. Whatever was
ailing me, this unseen energy that had drained mine wasn’t letting go. The zombie-like state lasted all through the
day and into the evening when I’d finally fall asleep from exhaustion of
fighting my hidden attacker for so long.
I
slept like the dead and woke up this morning starting with a sense of fear as
if I’d go through it again. I found
myself fully functional and in control.
I felt refreshed and thankful that my struggle was nothing more than a
twenty-four hour bug of sorts; or a twenty-four hour demon. This concealed enemy had hijacked my entire
being, controlling and abusing my person.
The intruder and I battled beneath my shell for an entire day as I
struggled against my aggressor forcing itself on me. I was a victim of this uninvited guest who
had snuck in; this invader that had forced itself in and taken advantage of my
nervous system.
I
got up and out of bed with the greatest of ease and I’m enjoying my
freedom. I don’t feel any side effects
or aftershocks of its hold but I certainly remember what it felt like and I
curse the day it happens again. I’m
certain it will come again, and I
won’t be ready because it will surely creep up on me as it did yesterday. Until that day comes I’m going to enjoy
functionality and control over my own vessel. I am able to walk without stumble and talk
without stutter. I’m able to laugh and
converse; having control over my emotions again is a near-euphoric
feeling. When yesterday I walked like a
novice, today I move like a seasoned vet with a spring in my step. I can form thoughts and control them at
will. All of which are controls we take
for granted on a daily basis and it’s frightening when they’re subdued against
our will.
I’m
happy but leery of my attacker’s presence.
This intruder lives with me; an unwanted roommate. I go through this every so often and knowing
this doesn’t make the restraint feel any better; doesn’t cushion the blow or
soften the feeling of being forced upon or taken advantage of. This is a common day, sadly enough, when you
have Multiple Sclerosis. When the fatigue
takes hold, there’s no protection and I feel like a victim of un-sexual-rape. It’s a horror that I’ll neither get used to
nor grow comfortable with; being bound by neurological chains that feels the
equivalent of demonic possession. Yesterday I was mentally and emotionally on my
deathbed and today I feel quite human; who knows what tomorrow will bring?
I’m
almost afraid to find out.
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