Loose Lipped Secrets and Twinkling Lights is my latest volume of poetry and is now available wherever books are sold online (i.e. Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc.)
It's interesting how things come together and how things change. I wrote the majority of this book in tandem with the novel Agent Phoenix (out in 2020). I usually start off with a lot of ideas and boil it down to about two or three that I'll focus on. I was going through creative frustrations - working so much and so hard only to remain invisible, to be candid - as well as my actual writing not matching what was in my head. I have so many projects that I'm excited about but I was having trouble putting my vision into words. I've read about authors writing work quickly and getting it out. I thought I'd step back from some of these bigger projects and do something quickly, something of a literary workout that I knew I needed.
I found several poems that I'd written maybe a little after the release of Reflections at Various Speeds. I actually really liked them, just needed an edit. So after cleaning them up I was interested in doing more but I had felt it was a way's off.
I had concocted Agent Phoenix as my workout book, with the thought of another poetry book niggling at me.
Still overwhelmed by what's in front of me, and dealing with crippling depression (a perk of multiple sclerosis), my life changed when my father passed away. I stopped working for a while. It was crushing. I tried not to think about it in public and act 'normal', but everything changed. It was a huge blow. I went on autopilot and the depression only got worse. I just coasted through life not really dealing with it. The hardest thing I'll ever have to write was his obituary. I then wrote a poem for his memorial (or a celebration of life, as it was referred).
The only way I could stop thinking about it - the phone call, seeing him, his no longer being there, knowing that the last time I spoke to him in person was when we ran into him at a Chinese restaurant - was to work. I dove headfirst into Agent Phoenix but wasn't satisfied so I needed one more. I thought of doing a third poetry book as another literary workout. I took the ones written between books and began to build on it. I did one poem quickly in a style that I've grown find of and I didn't really care for it. It's neat and nice but I didn't feel it. [By the way, dear reader, I decided to leave that particular piece in the book but I won't tell you which one it is, unless guessed correctly of course.]
I realized I couldn't do it quickly. Something I would go on to learn with Agent Phoenix as well. I spent a lot of time going back and forth between the poetry book and the novel. I couldn't do either quickly and noticed a shift in my writing. I slowed way down and the writing got way better. When I was trying to go fast, fast, fast, my brain said 'If you want it to read like it looks in your head you need to slow it down and pay closer attention.' I took my time with the poetry and it didn't end up being a literary workout, it was a therapy session. I reached in and pulled everything out. There are pieces in this book that still make me well up, or upset me, or make me think. It was brutal but extremely therapeutic. Once I finished it and sent it to my publisher, I didn't think about it. Everything I wanted to say at that time I had said, and just that quick had almost forgotten everything that I had released.
Agent Phoenix was close behind by a couple of months, I'll get to that book's story at another time. I hadn't gone back to my poetry book, which I'd titled Loose Lipped Secrets and Twinkling Lights (a title I snuck into one of the poems), until it was sent to me to look over before going to publication and print. It was nice to read it all with fresh eyes. Some needed an edit, some impressed me (Did I write that?), some made me cry, and just about all of it made me uncomfortable. I didn't realize how dark it was and I didn't realize just how real I had gotten or how much I'd poured out.
Life has changed for me and I'm no longer in that dark place. I'm hopeful. I got past the naked feeling of the book and am actually quite proud of it. I had something to say, on several fronts, and so I said it. Which I guess, coming to me as I write this, is its own literary workout. A lesson learned. A grueling therapy session. It also taught me just to do it, to go for it. Just say what you have to say, and change what needs to be changed afterwards.
Once I saw Loose Lipped Secrets and Twinkling Lights with an official release date, it felt good, like some of the weight had been lifted. I finished Agent Phoenix shortly after turning this book in and was once again elated when I saw its release date. I've found doing two books is my comfort zone. With two in the pipeline - one being poetry and the other an action adventure story - I felt I had some breathing room. It's one of those things that really means nothing to anybody but me, just as everyone has their own version of said feeling. I'm currently hard at work on two novels with more on the back burner awaiting their turn.
I have two more poetry books in me, both different from each other and different from the three released, but it'll be another year or so before I can get started on either of them. When I started this writing journey I thought I'd release ONE poetry book SOME day. Now I've written three and plan to do more. Life's funny. Writing Agent Phoenix and Loose Lipped Secrets and Twinkling Lights shifted things in a great way. Great workouts that turned out to be so much more. My selection process is different, my writing is different, I feel like I can now do these projects that I haven me.
Until next time, please pick up a copy of Loose Lipped Secrets and Twinkling Lights, you won't regret it.
https://supposedcrimes.com/products/loosed-lipped-secrets-and-twinkling-lights
