Writing with Multiple Sclerosis

I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. I rarely finished anything. I’d quit short stories and scripts when I had gotten discouraged. Writing books was never really part of the plan. I’ve played music for years. I play multiple instruments but mainly bass, guitar, and keyboard. I’d also always had an interest in film. The only books I’d intended to write (someday) was a poetry book, an anthology of horror stories, and maybe a science fiction novel. For years I’d planned independent horror films as well as albums (electronic music and progressive stuff mainly).



I’d also been working on a number of screenplays. There was always something getting in the way whether it was lack of money or lack of helping hands. I worked nights in a factory for years and tried to create in my free time. I live to create. I’ve been drawing characters and writing story ideas/outlines since I could hold a pencil. With numerous projects, and working on them primarily alone, frustration was mounting and completion seemed impossible.



In January of 2013, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Doctors and I traced symptoms back to high school and perhaps even into childhood. I still tried to work on projects but the disease was progressing. Things were becoming clearer to me. Being completely solo and having no money, any hopes for a film to be made had to be put on the back burner indefinitely. Also, with my health in decline, I knew I wouldn’t be able to do what I’d aimed to do musically (actually playing live shows, etc.) I could still record but playing live with everything I got going on wouldn’t end well. Which sucks because I had some pretty good songs going.



I haven’t done much with film at all, just some minute shorts and things, but I still play music every now and then. I hope to someday release a bass album. I’ve had some electronic music on YouTube under the name Vestibular Blue. I think I’d like to get back to more electronic music, particularly Synthwave. Movies and music were eluding me, and with a busy work schedule and this disease, getting time to really commit to screenwriting eluded me as well. I began having troubles with my hands when I’d previously just had trouble in my legs. I was feeling frantic trying to find a project in which I didn’t have to rely on anyone else and something that my illness couldn’t hold me back from.



After losing my job, my wife suggested I work full time towards my goal of being a writer. She suggested I send the poetry I’d read to her out. I did and I got published by Supposed Crimes. From there I ended up writing my first novel and I was hooked. Writing books turned out to be what I was looking for. I can write whatever I want and not worry about a budget or other people to depend on. It just requires imagination, time, and work. The limitations of the disease brought me to writing books and refocused my writing and brought my attention to the craft.



It’s still hard. I have a lot of bad days. Some days I’m in too much pain, others my nerves are out of whack and I can’t focus on anything. But in the end, it seems as if Multiple Sclerosis led me to what I love doing most. Despite this debilitating disease, I’m writing more than ever, working towards a better life.



To date I’ve had five books with Supposed Crimes (3 poetry, 2 novels) and five self-published (1 novel, 1 play, and 3 collections). Everything was done and my career (slow going as it may be) started after my diagnosis. It slows me down but I haven’t let it stop me. Multiple Sclerosis tries to drag me down every day, but I keep fighting, and keep writing.



Writing with Multiple Sclerosis is like having a bipolar editor in your head, and hands that often seem to write whatever they want. Days of crippling depression and anxiety and pain. It’s a struggle, but I’m blessed to be able to fight. Many with the disease aren’t as lucky as myself, and I acknowledge that and am quick to remember when I’m going through hard times.



I was diagnosed seven years ago and just saw the release of my tenth book. Agent Phoenix is my third novel, and fifth project with Supposed Crimes. I’ve talked on here before about Book X and the future. I’ve thought before how nobody will know who I am until my tenth book; well, we shall see. Until then I’m going to keep shutting MS down and keep working.

Where is Agent Phoenix?

In the mood for a fun and exciting novel? Try Agent Phoenix. Where can you buy Agent Phoenix? Here are some links.

https://supposedcrimes.com/products/agent-phoenix

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B083RF3N26/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/agent-phoenix-christopher-michael-carter/1136312245?ean=9781952150005

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/agent-phoenix-christoph-michael-carter/1136013275?ean=2940163441532

https://www.fictiondb.com/author/michael-carter~agent-phoenix-christopher~2660756~b.htm

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Agent-Phoenix-by-Christopher-Michael-Carter-English-Paperback-Book-Free-Shippi-/392730253417

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/999877

https://www.overdrive.com/media/5222257/agent-phoenix

https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/agent-phoenix_christopher-michael-carter/26141782/#isbn=1952150000&idiq=37479657

AGENT PHOENIX

It's finally here! Agent Phoenix is available as of April 1st, 2020!

 
Agent Phoenix has been a trip. It was written late 2018/early 2019 in spurts. It was a struggle, and a teachable write.

I'd become the stereotypical struggling writer. I felt like I was working my ass off but saw failure after failure. I drank too much, smoked too much, and beat myself up too much. I had just released a novel called Blue Sweep, and that book took me to some dark places. I poured myself into it until it hurt. Unable to find anyone to read it, let alone pick it up, I self-published it - mainly so I could have proof of its existence after all the mental anguish while writing it. I was currently writing a pair of science fiction novels. One planned for Supposed Crimes (publisher of my first novel as well as Agent Phoenix, and more), and the other to find a home somewhere else.

Both sci-fi books were rich and complex, and a headache. I loved them but I was struggling. I woke up every day determined to put in the work but was growing more depressed the more I worked on them. My wife at one time questioned if Blue Sweep had broken me a little. I had to pause work on them for the time being. I felt like I was falling apart. I wanted to write, I needed to write, but everything I was coming up with was just too much. It was just migraines and depression and bad habits and I couldn't get outside of my own head to focus.

I'd always heard stories of authors who whipped up a book quickly. I thought, I'd like to do that. Just fingers-to-keys-balls-to-the-wall. Of course, then, it's "What's it about?" Back in my first novel Last Rites of the Capacitance I had a few action scenes. My publisher told me I wrote action scenes well and I should keep that in mind in the future. Well, that future had arrived. I thought, I've got it! I wanted to make a short 100 page action adventure story. I came up with my hero Agent Phoenix and his surroundings Carbine City, and I was off. I didn't tell Supposed Crimes I was writing it. Usually I'd send in ideas but this time I just decided I'd write it quickly and turn it in.

That didn't happen.

I managed to keep it under wraps; however, it wasn't a quick write at all. I started it around the spring or summer of 2018. I found out quickly that I'm not that type of writer. So I was getting frustrated from the jump. I'd try to write what came to mind and get it all out but the book forced me to slow down. I can't explain it. It was a fight between me and the book. I'd love it, write, then hate that it was controlling the way it was wanting to be written. It's a science-fiction-action-adventure book. Very pulpy. Despite aggravations, and plenty of times of walking away, I was drawn to Agent Phoenix. Which is why in the beginning of this I said in spurts. I'd write for a while, it would go well, then I was angry with it and left; then come back.

Nobody really knew about it. Nobody had read any of it. I just fought with it until it was written. During the long process, I needed something to go to when I'd had my fill of the good Agent. That's when I came up with my third volume of poetry Loose Lipped Secrets and Twinkling Lights. My third novel and my third poetry book were written together. I had similar struggles with the poetry book in terms of wanting to do something fast and then finding out I'm not that guy.

I was some ways into Agent Phoenix and Loose Lipped Secrets and Twinkling Lights when work stopped. Forever tied to the writing of these two books, my father passed away and stopped me in my tracks. I was bereft. I didn't think about writing, just trying to cope. Everything finally had come to a head when I realized I either was going to shut down completely or I was going to dive into my work, so that's what I did. I jumped back into both books with blinders on. My approach was changing and the fighting with both of them was stopping.

Loose Lipped Secrets and Twinkling Lights took me to some dark places but out of that came my best poetry. Stylistically, Agent Phoenix went on without a hitch. It was the actual work and approach that was the hiccup. However, it was turning out just like I wanted. It's bright and colorful and full of action. It just went on for a long time, much longer than anticipated, and ended up twenty pages over my target.

My approach for the story of Agent Phoenix was like that of a TV show. Agent Phoenix battles colorful foes in the neon-drenched futuristic city of Carbine City but the underlying threat is his arch nemesis Baxter Combs. One thing I found interesting was how sci-fi it got. My plan was pulpy action adventure, like a comic book or a movie or series, but when I was reading it to my wife, I was like 'There's a lot of sci-fi in this.' She said, "I thought you knew." I shrugged. I love sci-fi so I guess it came natural but it wasn't my intention. I was just focused on trying to write a fun book.

I finished the poetry book first and turned it in. Then about a month or so later I finished Agent Phoenix and sent it in. I was nervous and waited while toying with various story ideas. While waiting to hear back, I noticed the change Agent Phoenix had on my writing going forward. I tried not to think of how they were liking my two submissions. The poetry book was picked up first and got a good response. Agent Phoenix was taking longer, and I became more anxious. What if it sucks? What if they hate it? When I finally got word back, it was good news. My publisher loved it and said something I was hoping to hear - "It's a really fun book." - and that they'd be publishing it. I was elated.

The release dates were set. Loose Lipped Secrets and Twinkling Lights came out September 1st 2019 and Agent Phoenix was scheduled for February 1st 2020. We ended up pushing the date back to April, which I was happy with as it gave me time to work on my current books. Now that it's out, it feels weird. Old and new at the same time. With enough distance between the work and its release, it's hard to see the fighting at all when I look back. I'm excited for people to read it and have a good time.

Since finishing both the poetry book and Agent Phoenix, I've been hard at work on more that I will tell you about soon. I hope you all check out Agent Phoenix. I thank you for reading, now I've gotta get back to work.

-Christopher